Naturally, there is no one Uncle Sam can turn to other than former extreme sports athlete Xander Cage, who is currently enjoying a quiet, low-key life in Brazil.
government – personified here by Toni Collette who often wears an expression of "what the f*ck am I doing here?" – desperately needs it back after it's stolen by an agile group of thieves led by Donnie Yen (fairly badass, as can be counted upon). It can also crash satellites with ease, which happens a handful of times in the movie we're treated to the line, "They're going to crash a satellite down on you!" (The response: "They're going to crash a satellite down on us!") Doesn't really matter what it is, it's sought after by the good guys and bad guys. The story involves a device forebodingly called "Pandora's Box," which can unlock the personal information of every person on the planet, or something along those lines. Your rational brain may not forgive you later, but f*ck it. If you're on board with that, and I was about five minutes into it, than xXx 3 provides a pretty good time. Scott Frazier make no illusions that their movie is anything other than a series of insane action sequences featuring a very diverse, international cast performing thoroughly impossible physical acts, usually while laughing.
That music, yikes!) While the original maintained something of a dark edge and an actual plot, xXx 3's story is about as threadbare as a used Kleenex. (Hard to believe xXx came out 15 years ago, but a recent look at it confirmed it's already dated. The film's big deal of course is that it marks the return of Vin Diesel to the "franchise" after sitting out the second film. The childlike glee with which xXx 3 gives the middle finger to logic and good taste can only be admired, and because it only wants to be enjoyably preposterous you can't claim it doesn't achieve its goals. It's immature, goofy, daft as hell… and I smiled almost the entire time. The FAST & FURIOUS movies are downright Shakespearean in comparison. REVIEW: xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE makes the first xXx look like SKYFALL. After cobbling a team together, Xander must track down the device. PLOT: Former extreme sports athlete and NSA spy Xander Cage is lured out of retirement when a powerful, globe-threatening device is stolen by a group of highly-skilled thieves.
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